Deja-vu

How does the saying go? Tell God your plans and he'll show you his? Well, my plan was to maybe have another child one day once I had published more, gotten closer to tenure, figured out some daycare for Nick, lost 10 more pounds, saved more money, and the list of conditions went on. We weren't sure we were going to expand our family; those were just some of the things I wanted to have in place before we entered into what I like to call procreative negotiation.

Some decisions are made for us. Maybe because we won't make them ourselves. Maybe because the universe knows better than we do what we need. I am blessed to be able to have another child while I'm still young-ish, and because I believe that children choose us and not the other way around, I know this child's arrival in my life is nothing short of a miracle. It's easy for me to think myself into oblivion - how will I take care of a two year-old and a newborn, among other questions I can't answer right now - but I have firm faith that everything I need will be provided. My life has always worked this way: I don't always get what I want, but I never fail to find what I need.

And so it begins for me, again, this primitive journey of pregnancy that seems magical, even though women do it every day, a million times over. Since I know for sure this time will be my last, I intend to enjoy every moment of it.