Because sometimes you need a reminder

We get lulled into thinking our problems are big problems; sometimes they are, but a lot of times, they're not. Here's what life did for me today: It took what seemed like a problem and put it in a whole lot of context. Nick has been having trouble walking lately. For about a month now. He has been tripping more and more, and losing his balance in situations where he otherwise wouldn't. And I have totally freaked out. He saw his pediatrician who encouraged me to relax, telling me that he's "toeing in" but that it's normal for kids under 2 and besides he has his father's awful flat feet and that lends itself to toeing in, too. RELAX FIRST-TIME MAMA! It's just that when you see your baby struggle, especially with something like walking that's so important and especially especially when he didn't have trouble before, well, you worry.

It seems like a problem.

So my pediatrician made me an appointment with the head of pediatric orthopedics at Rady's Children's Hospital today. One of the best children's hospitals in the country, and one of the biggest. It's a whole medical complex of pediatric sub-specialties: Cardiology, otolaryngology, neurology, and saddest of all perhaps, oncology. Here we were, my little man and me, getting on the elevator with kids who clearly had problems to deal with. And parents who were without their babies, but carrying their babies' things: Blankets, plush bunnies, all wearing "visitor" stickers. We saw our doctor, amidst other patients Nick's age dealing with scoleosis and other awful real problems, and when Nick's x-rays all came back normal and he was diagnosed with "internal tibial torsion" - a genetic turning-in of the tibias on both legs that he got from David, and that will ultimately self-correct by the time he's 3 or 4 - I felt such a series of emotions. It was overwhelming. I could hear the doctor talking and yet I was almost outside my body, thinking about all those babies and kids we'd seen on the way in and how LUCKY we were to be OKAY and able to go HOME.

I held Nick for a few minutes in that room, his tiny little legs and all. And I thanked God from the bottom of my soul. Thank you, thank you, thank you for my healthy babies. Thank you.

Thank you.

Because I needed a reminder to get beyond myself and what seems like a set of problems in my life but isn't. Having a crazy toddler who misbehaves is not a problem. Having a job that never gets done isn't a problem. Having back pain from being pregnant and being exhausted because you're carrying a healthy child is not a problem. I feel blessed today.