Five on Friday

5. It's 11 p.m. so I better hop to it, or this will have to become the Six on Saturday instead.
4. At most I have 8 weeks left to spend with Nicholas alone before Zoe comes and part of me is just so emotional about that fact. I couldn't stop crying tonight as I held him and he fell asleep. I think when I actually go into labor I'll be a wreck - happy on the one hand and eager to meet Ms. Zoe but just about as sad as I can be that Nick will never after that point have my undivided attention again (well not for long stretches like he does now, anyway). So I'm soaking them up, our little mommy and Nick moments. And I'm writing to him in his book about this time we are sharing and how much it means to me, both so I'll remember it and he'll be able to see that once he was the center of my world.
3. I just started to cry again writing that. Ugh. Hormones.
2. I never knew, before I had kids, that I could love another person the way I love my son. Everyone tells you that's the case, but you just can't imagine it. Today when Dave came home from a week out of town, I thought Nick would be eager for some space from me. I went to the bathroom ALONE (meaning it was just me in there and I actually closed the door) for the first time in like 6 days, and he banged on the door and cried and said, "mama, mama" over and over again. The best part about a parent's love for her child is that it's returned so generously.
1. I'm just bewildered as to how my heart can be so full and so torn at the same time, and I worry that I won't be able to give either of my kids all the attention they deserve. I guess every parent who has more than one child feels this way.

On that note, it's off to bed for this tired mama!