Teeth: Before and after

Here was the top gumline last week:
And here we are today, a little more than a week later:
While I was taking these closeups, he made some other funny faces. He's been making this weird snapping/snacking/sucking sound and when he does it, the expression on his face is hilarious. Here's a picture of that:A few other outtakes:
Happy Tuesday!

Mama, my teeth hurt!

Want to see how Nick's been looking at me this week? It's a pretty intense little expression that, I think, is born out of pain (teeth), frustration (I can't walk but I'm so close now ...), and endless hunger (growth spurt). Poor little guy - did everything have to strike in one week? What I like best about the faces he's made this week is that, in them, I see a bit of his future self. Don't you kind of see what he'll look like as a grown man when you look at this picture?

Seven on Sunday

1. It's so beautiful outside that I feel stupid sitting indoors writing this list. So I am going to stop and come back later.

2. So glad I did that - even if only for a few minutes. I cannot WAIT for summer.

3. Yesterday we took Little Man to the Wild Animal Park for the first time. It's literally 15 minutes north of us, and we have free passes, so I don't know what took us so long. But we had fun. He wasn't very interested in the animals, except for a pair of ducks who were wandering around and came up to see him in his stroller. Other than that, the gorillas, the elephants, the birds, he could take or leave them really. Next time we go and he's a little older, I think he's going to be able to take more in.

4. Speaking of Little Man and animals ... he's growing by leaps and bounds and acting kind of nutty and animal-like himself right now. This weekend he started to stand up by himself without holding on to anything or anyone (and scared his mama half to death because now that he can do it, he wants to do it all the time), and he has learned to blow bubbles (it's so cute ...) and wants to do that all the time. He's just a standing-up-alone, blowing-bubbles kind of guy today.

5. This week will be my third week back at work and I've found my rhythm. I am so lucky to do something I love for a living.

6. My wrist is hurting a LOT and I'm thinking that I'll have to have surgery this summer, like it or not, risky as it may be. My question is: How will I possibly live my crazy life if I can't move my hand for 2 months? At least I'll be off work.

7. Next week is Valentine's Day and my mom's birthday. I am excited about both. My grandma's birthday is on the 13th. She would have been 91 this year, rest in peace.

Have a good week - the sunshine isn't going anywhere, say the forecasters, so enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

Love and mashed potatoes

My mom is an amazing grandmother, and that comes as absolutely no surprise to anyone who knows her and who understands how long she waited for the opportunity to arrive. Nothing, however, prepared me for the joy I'd feel when I saw my mom in her grandmother role. It's a sight to behold. What's especially wonderful is how much Nick loves her back. I knew she'd be crazy about him; but I didn't anticipate that at such a young age, before he could even talk, he'd be able to reciprocate so fully. When he sees her he lights up with an almost silly grin, and I've been able to capture it on film. He doesn't smile this way for just anyone. These are Grammie Smiles.


Do you want to know why this week, in particular, reinforced Nick's devotion to his Grammie? Two words: MASHED POTATOES. He's had them before, but never with cream of chicken soup gravy on top. He ate two bowls full in one sitting.


Cute, huh? The love of a grandmother is something special and Nick is, I think, blessed beyond belief to have this lady's heart in his hands.

Winter fruit

I have always loved fruit trees - something about the fruit-bearing process, the way spring brings the trees to life, and the excitement of watching fall and winter buds turn to blossoms and then to long-awaited fruit. The best part of all? Fruit you grow at home tastes nothing like fruit you buy at the grocery store; there's a sweetness, a softness, a buttery-ness to the flavor. Since my homegrown crops are always small I like to savor the few of each kind of fruit we produce (except kumquats - we have 1000 of them - please come and take some home!). The whole experience makes you slow down and appreciate each bite of what you're eating.

I also love the winter garden, and the image of young fruit not yet ripe, so full of promise.

Here's our fuji apple tree - aren't the apples beautiful?
Our very mature kumquat tree that, in the fall, smells like heaven. Every one of those fruits was once, back in August, a sweet-smelling flower.
Here's a (not-so-great) view of all the trees: Persimmon, peach, apple, kumquat, orange.
And here's Nick (what's a post without a picture of him?). I take him outside every day to "visit" our trees - otherwise they get lonely!

Super Wednesday

I know, it's Super TUESDAY, but since the democratic primary results are still being ironed out as I write this, I figured I'll carry over the theme into today.

I voted, did you?

The truth is, it doesn't matter who wins the primary. I mean, it does. But IMO anyone is better than Bush. McCain will do a fine job. I would just really, really like to live to see the first black president in office, or the first female president. Given what I teach - and the fact that I research white male identity development for a living - I just think we need something, someone, else to look at for a while. The data say that if a person of color, or a woman, is in charge of a university, you see a dramatic difference in the academic and social development of students of color and female students. It's about role-modeling and identification.

Imagine if a black man or white woman ran this country?

So if it's McCain, that's okay with me. But I am hoping to see the day - not just for myself, but for so many people who need to see themselves reflected in their leaders - when a non-white-male president stands before God and country to take the oath and pledge his/her service on a winter morning in some future year. And I can say to Nicholas, in a quiet but steady voice, this is the moment mommy has waited for. This is history being made. This is change. This is a chance for people to fully deploy themselves and rise up. This is it.

I have hope.

A full day

Two big things happened today:
1. Nick's two front teeth have broken the surface. All you can see in this pic is swollen gum, but if you look veryveryvery closely you can see white enamel and some dried blood. So that's why he hasn't been very happy or sleepy lately!
2. Candi and I took Nick and Hudson to the park today and Nick rode an infant swing for the first time ever! It was so much fun! He really seemed to enjoy it.



So much fun to watch them grow together and think about the days when the two of us sat around, big and pregnant, looking forward to these moments.
Have a great week!

A not-so-smooth transition

We've been cosleeping with Nick since he came home from the hospital. He was one month premature, only 5 1/2 pounds when we finally brought him home April 2, 2007, and I was breastfeeding, so cosleeping - the "family bed" - just seemed right for us, and especially for me as a new nursing mom. For the first 4 months of Nick's life he was so congested every night that he could hardly breathe. The doctor said he just had tiny nostrils and that, as he grew, he would breathe easier. That was true - but for 4 months I held him somewhat upright in bed all night long, every night. We tried everything, putting him in his carseat inside the cosleeper, you name it. Holding him (and not sleeping myself) pacified him (along with nasal aspiration every few hours and LOTS of Ocean drops to his chagrin). A friend of mine told me that when your baby is small you "do whatever works" and, well, she was right.

Here we are at 10 months, and Little Man wants nothing more than to cuddle with me all night long, every night, nursing at will (which tends to be every 2-3 hours). He has even learned how to pull up my shirt so half the time I tend not to wake up. But he's very mobile - crawling, almost walking - and last week while I slept he awoke, crawled to the edge of the bed, and rolled off with a THUD. I almost passed out with fear. Now, keep in mind, almost every seasoned mom I know has told me that this has happened to them. And Nick was fine - after he got over the initial shock he was his usual, happy self. But it was enough to change my mind about sleeping with Nick. So what have I done?

That very night we took the top portion off his cosleeper and lowered it to a level where he can stand up and hold the edge but he cannot pull himself up or out of it. I nurse him when he wakes at night and then, once he is almost asleep, I put him in the cosleeper. I leave a blanket that smells like me in with him, and you know what? He's doing just fine. I am getting more sleep, I don't have to worry about bedrolling accidents, and we are making progress.

In the mornings I now wake to him standing up inside the cosleeper talking to me: ba ba, ma ma, da da, mawang, bagoo. It's cute, and he seems happy enough. Except yesterday, when he woke up, he was very scared for some reason. I gave him a pillow to snuggle with, which he likes (don't worry - he doesn't sleep with all that stuff in there, it's just for mornings when he's awake), but that didn't help his mood. The camera was right there. Even though I prefer smiley pictures, I just had to snap one shot of his "help me, mama!" grimace.

A not-very-happy-and-quite-lonesome camper. But it's better than an I-just-rolled-off-the-bed-and-injured-myself camper, right? I think so.

Addendum/update

So I had not planned to watch the Super Bowl. But I am a sucker for stories, as you know. Once I learned Tom Brady's story I did kind of want him to win (even though I don't think he's a great man per se); then when I found out our own Steve Smith was playing for the Giants, and they were the underdogs, I kind of started to pull for them, too. Thus, the game was, for me, slightly less fun because either team could win and because both had compelling people and stories associated with them, I'd be happy.

Dave, on the other hand, was much more biased. And ELATED when Steve Smith helped win the SB for the Giants.

At the end of the day, we're just a couple of hardcore Trojans screaming FIGHT ON to any former player, no matter whom he might be playing for now.

Six on Sunday

1. I don't watch the Super Bowl, and that's okay (self-affirmation).

2. Nick is refusing to take a bottle, and it's making it really hard on everyone for me to be away two days a week. He nurses for about half an hour straight when I get home, poor little guy. And on Thursday he also nursed all night long.

3. But my classes went really well this week, and I was so glad to see everyone - I'm trying to focus on the positive and know that we will get through the rough patches.

4. I can't believe Angeline Jolie is pregnant with twins. How on earth does she balance all those kids and her career and her marriage and all the traveling they do? I can barely keep my little life together sometimes - ONE baby, working PART-TIME outside the home, NO travel, NO marriage to a megastar, NO pressure to be amazingly attractive all the time. Ugh! Makes me tired just thinking about it. She either has a staff of people who help with eve-ry-thing, or she's just a much more able woman than I am. Or both.

5. Speaking of tired, I am too wiped out and busy to add a photo to this post right now - might do it later, though.

6. I made BBQ beer chicken in the slow-cooker today and it was yummy! Here is the recipe:

2 lbs chicken tenders
1 cup dark ale or beer
1 1/2 cups good quality BBQ sauce
1 onion, sliced into wedges
2 tbsp. vegetable oil
soft sandwich buns

Brown the chicken in the oil, season with salt and pepper. Place in slow-cooker, add onion wedges. Combine beer and BBQ sauce and pour over chicken and onions. Cook on high 4 hours. Serve on buns. Makes 6 small sandwiches or 4 extra-large, Super Bowl Sunday-size ones.

ENJOY! Happy Sunday to you.

Model release!

Yesterday my mom and I took Nick to the Picture People for his Valentine's Day shoot. He was in such a good mood - he had napped, eaten, then napped again. When I woke him up to take him into the mall his cheeks were bright red, as if someone had been pinching them (that's how they always look when he just wakes up). He was flirting with the photographer, and, if he hadn't peed all over the set, I think he would have wanted the photo shoot to last forever. Talk about some serious smiles! When we finished, we waited the 30 minutes it takes for the pictures to be ready for viewing and when we sat down, the woman helping us asked me to sign a Model Release waiver so Nick's picture could be blown up and put on the wall in stores. She said her manager had selected him, and that it doesn't happen very often. My Nick? A Super Model? Well, not quite. But I was honored. I've actually thought about taking him to Los Angeles to pursue baby modeling because people are constantly telling me I should, but now he has made it big in San Diego.

I can't share my favorite photo from the shoot because it might be coming to your home mailbox any day now inside a Valentine's Day card! But here are a few of the other pictures they selected (excuse the watermark - I try to honor copyright):




I'm so proud of him. The best part? He's beautiful on the inside, too.
Happy Hearts Day to you!

My first baby

Sometimes she feels pushed to the side, like she's in the way; sometimes she feel sad, because she's not number one anymore; sometimes she feels jealous, because Nick gets all the toys, treats, and special foods. But in my heart, she's still my first baby. I lay with her and stroke her fur while I tell her the story I've told her a million times before, about how David and I picked her out at the shelter. Her whole litter was there, under quarantine because the staff thought she'd been exposed to Parvo. We asked to see them anyway and said we'd wait for the Parvo results to come in while we played with the puppies. There were 7 of these German Shepherd mixed babies - 3 pure-white, 2 black, and 2 something-in-between. We decided on a white one, and then had to choose between Bella and the others. I chose Bella because she was sleeping on her back and with her little pink potbelly exposed, she looked like a piglet (didn't she?).


I had no idea then, when she weighed just 6 pounds, that she would end up being the 90-pound girl she is today. She has no idea how big she is; she still wants to lay on my lap and sleep in the bed next to us.



But Bella is my baby - always will be. She taught me how to be a mom, really. And for her love, her loyalty, her fierce devotion, and her patience during this first year of Nick's life - her willingness to (albeit reluctantly) take second place at times - she has my heart.

Farewell to month number 10!

Here are some pictures to commemorate the last day of Nick's 10th month of life. Here's to all the fun month 11 will bring, as we inch closer to Little Man's first birthday ...

Back to work

The first day went well - felt like the first day of school when I was a kid. My mom was here and even took a picture of me before I left for the day. I can't believe I cleaned up so well, actually. One hour earlier I was in pajamas with my hair in a pony tail, no makeup, with spit and dried milk all over my shirt and arm. Such is the life of a working mama. But I'm glad to be back and missed my students very much. Today, for the first time in a long time, I felt like "me" again, although, if I'm honest, I do wish I could just be Nick's mom and nothing else until he's a little older. I feel like his babyhood is passing me by. I don't want to miss a minute of it. Ah, the conflicts I feel. I'm sure with time they'll be resolved.

So it's official

I've finally lost so much baby weight that I'm too small to wear the suits I wore to work before I got pregnant. All I can say is thank GOD for breastfeeding. How do women do it otherwise? Just for the record, I'm not bragging; I'm celebrating 10 months of hard, hard work that's paid off in more ways than one: I don't have to smell formula; my baby has been well for 10 months (knock on virtual wood); and my body bounced back rather nicely.

Could not have done it without you, Jacque. Now let's see if I can keep nursing Nick until he's 2. Then I'll start thinking about portion control, calories, and my long lost friend, Mojito.

Two on Tuesday ...

because I don't have time for ten.

1. I am putting finishing touches on my syllabi for class tomorrow night and Thursday night. I think both are going to be great.

2. My little man will only stand in his crib, for as long as you leave him in there. If the mobile stops spinning, he cries; but if the animals are dancing, he stands there with the cutest grin on his face. See?

And that's all I have time to write before getting back to Nick, work, Nick, work, Nick, work, grab a 2-minute snack, Nick, work, sleep for 10 mins, Nick, work, Nick, Nick, Nick.

On her way back home

My friend and former student Brigid is moving home, to Michigan, after being out here for a few homesick years. She stopped in to see Nick and me before she and her hubby hit the road (for a very fun and romantic roadtrip, I might add!). Thanks for visiting, Brigid.

We love you and will miss you.

Another first ...

He finally learned to "climb" the stair in search of his ball. Thank goodness we only have one step there. I know, in no time, he'll be trying to scale the "real" stairs. What then?

What's growing in your garden?

My little plant must be getting extra Miracle-Gro because he's growing so fast!

Valentine's Day - my little cupid

On Monday, Nick and I are headed for The Picture People because he just has to be dressed up like this:


Betcha can't wait to see how he looks with his bow and arrow! (p.s. that is not him in the picture - it's just an advertisement.)

Ten on Thursday

1. Nick has been wearing a shirt that I bought at Baby Gap last week (for way too much money). It says "Lock up your daughters" on the front. And given that he is now officially the world's biggest flirt - especially with waitresses for some reason - it seems appropriate.


2. I go back to work next week and I'm simultaneously sad and excited about my return.

3. I received two really nice compliments this week from two different people and they made me feel so good about myself! I needed that boost of self-confidence right before I go back to work.

4. Sometimes, like right now, I miss being pregnant. What exactly do I miss? Long afternoon catnaps (even though I had to lay on my left side, which I hate); feeling life inside me - the kicks, the turns, the occasional knee punches; having great skin and healthy hair; being treated extra nicely by strangers (who probably just felt sorry for me but so what); rubbing my belly, which I thought was the most beautiful thing ever; all the hormones, which made me feel happy and sexy and energetic from week 16 until about week 30. And you know what? I'd go back and do it all over again if I could (David says, you can! But I don't mean a second baby, I mean with Nick).

5. Speaking of my little man, he doesn't sleep much and I am E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D.

6. I have decided to vote for Barack Obama because something in me just doesn't trust Hillary all that much. And Edwards seems too Southern and Gentle for the job.
I would potentially vote for McCain if his stance on the war changed, actually.

7. My mom has been here staying with me for a few days so I can get work done and I am grateful for the help.

8. Nick has taken to screaming like a rabid monkey when you don't pay enough attention to him. He especially likes to do this in restaurants when it's quiet.

9. I went to Home Goods this week (OF COURSE) and once again, no crazies.

10. David recovered from his tonsilectomy with absolutely no trouble. He's like that - if it takes normal people 3 weeks to recover, he will somehow manage to bounce back in 3 days.

On lazy, sunny-but-cold winter mornings ...

I like to watch my baby sleep. Doesn't he look peaceful?

First visit to the beach

Today we went to Del Mar (Torrey Pines) and introduced Nick's fingers and toes to the feeling of sand and ocean water. It was just so beautiful outside and we've been meaning to take him down there for a while now. He loved it. He is such a careful explorer when introduced to new things. He spent 10 minutes just gently running his fingertips over the sand at the edge of our blanket before he got more adventurous and crawled off the blanket. He loved it when Dad held his hands and walked him to the water's edge. Both of us said today we can't wait to take him to Maui, to the beach where we got married. What fun to think about all the good times that lay ahead.

(Little) Man's best friend

Nick has really discovered Bella this week, wanting to play with her, smiling when she passes by, reaching out to pet her (read: pull her fur). She hadn't shown much interest until yesterday, when she started to play with him, too. She would approach him, he would giggle, she would lick his feet or ears (only two spots of interest she's shown), he would scream, then she would step back; she would wait about a minute, then come toward him again and they would then repeat their little giggle-lick- scream sequence. I enjoyed watching my two babies start to interact. My hope is that eventually they will be friends.

It's not that far down ...

So there were about 100 new baby developments this week. Nick is growing by leaps and bounds, eating non-stop, babbling (ba ba ma ma mawab ba goo ma goo) and almost crawling (I like to call what he does "slithering"). But today was just funny. He's not only moving, he's thinking. He got in his pack 'n play, looked over at me, scooted and slithered to the edge, got up on his knees, grabbed hold of the side with both hands, and looked down - then looked back at me as if to say, "it's not that far down." The camera was right there. I just couldn't resist snapping a shot of my little man trying to escape.

And this is why - for those of you don't have kids - you are never allowed to leave your baby alone in a room for 2 seconds. They are smarter than you think, and more eager to escape than you realize :0).

Congratulations to Kris & Tim, and Revival of Soul Impressions

Yesterday was a BIG day around these parts ... I got to see my sister's beautiful new house in Dove Canyon, and I was inspired to come back to my little blogspot and start posting again. How did that happen, you ask? Well, after we visited the new house and I took way too many pictures (more on that in a moment), we went to lunch at my all-time favorite restaurant, Woodranch Grill, and over lunch we started talking about blogs. Kristin has found someone's blogspot and become completely addicted. So then I said, "Well, I have a blogspot as a matter of fact," and Jeff chimed in, "I have one, too." None of us knew the others had them or were even interested. So I promptly came home and gave mine a dusting and polishing (i.e., a new template) and now I'll take it live, at least for the people who would be interested.

Now, you may be wondering, if I took so many pictures of her new house yesterday, why did I only post a photo of a bird's nest in a tree? Because it's the first thing I noticed when I walked up to her driveway - this tiny little nest, now vacant, nestled in the bare branches of a deciduous tree. Anyone can post pics of a house; but not just anyone notices the details that make a house a home.